It may happen that satisfying our needs conflicts with those of other with whom we are in a relationship. Problems can affect all spheres of our life and in interpersonal relationships conflict is inevitable, which is neither good nor bad and emerges from the diversity of desires, needs and expectations that inhabit the world of each of us. A poorly managed conflict can bring feelings of powerlessness and humiliation, or of anger, frustration and desire of revenge, wearing down the relationship between people.
To deal with problems, it is useful to be able to recognise and define problematic situations, to be able to describe our own and others behaviour in those circumstances, look for solutions by considering advantages, disadvantages and consequences, adopt a method to find effective solutions.
By implementing “six steps” a resolution can be achieved:
- identify the problem with the party involved
- propose possible solutions
- evaluate the solutions
- identify the best solution
- determine the best way to implement the chosen solution which suits all the parties involved
- verify the effectiveness of the chosen solution
It is useful and important to foster the acquisition of problem-solving skills, with the awareness that in activating the process it is appropriate to adopt a flexible and positive way of thinking which stems from confidence in oneself and one’s own potential.
How do we strengthen Problem Solving?
Sometimes a problem can seem confusing and the reasons for us feeling bad are unclear to us. It is therefore good to stop and analyse it, to ‘open it up’ as if it were a piece of fruit, and to find the ‘core of the problem’, i.e. to identify and describe the situation or behaviour that is causing us difficulty.
Once understood, it will be easier to tackle the problem.
Ask yourself:
- What is the origin of the difficulties I am experiencing?
Evaluate possible paths and learnings
It is important to learn to imagine different ‘roads’ we can take to solve a problem and to imagine the consequences that, for us and for others, will follow our choices. Use sequential thinking and ask yourself:
- What are the possibilities I have for solving the problem?
- Where can each of these choices take me?
- What more can I learn to solve this problem? What else can I do?
- How can I solve this problem while respecting everyone?
- Of the possible solutions, which is the best one to satisfy both myself and others?
Learning to manage problem solving situations is a fundamental part of people’s human journey. No one can hope to always be right or not face a debate/problem. Learning to give yourself time to manage this situation is a skill at the basis of every profession.